Fresh Bride

The Gift of Vows.

Many couples give more thought to their gift registry than to their wedding vows.

Think about it.

The Secret to Writing Vows.

What secrets are you keeping from your mate?  We all have secrets!  It's only human.  No problem with this.  However, you should know what would make you feel safe enough to share them with your partner.  And that is what wedding vows are made of.

Here's a short exercise to turn deeply-held secrets into powerful vows:

1.  Privately, make a list of all your secrets. Call this list "A."

2.  Ask yourself this question:

"What would it take to make me feel safe enough to share all my secrets with my fiance?" 

Write down lots of answers.  Call this list "B." 

3.  Now, share List "B" with your partner. Have a really generous conversation about what makes you feel so safe in your relationship that you can talk about anything.

Discover what you have in common. Consider, without judgement, the ways you are different.  Learn what your partner needs in order to confidently trust you. Define how you can offer your partner what is needed.

4.  Together, write down at least 3 very clear statements that say exactly how you will work to create that safe environment. These statements are vows.  Voila!

Vows & The Conspiring Universe.

"At the moment of commitment, the universe conspires to assist you." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Have you ever noticed this to be true in your life? When you really, truly made a firm decision to do something that you deeply felt in your heart, it became so? How is it that this can happen? And how can pondering this experience assist you in writing your own vows?

If marriage is the ultimate commitment, carefully consider this question: Specifically, what is it you are committing TO? (What is your idea of marriage?) Or better yet, since "marriage" is really a verb, what are you committing to DO? (How do you intend to make your definintion of marriage come alive day in and day out?) Write down your answers in simple words and phrases. Then join them together, making sentences that tell the story of the kind of person you intend to be in living out a committed life with your partner.

Voila, vows!

And do know: the more precisely you answer these questions, the more the universe will conspire to assist you in living your answer.