I've been offline for ten days because I adopted a puppy. She's 1.5 lbs. of heaven. A little puff of white fluff, soft as silk, with a fabulous landing pad for mothering instincts. And everyone around me is asking, "What's her name?" I haven't decided yet.
This is quite unsettling to people. But I'm not in a hurry. I'm trying on a lot of different names to see how they fit. Experience tells me that the process of making the right choice is actually a process of recognizing the right choice when it shows up. The formula? Patience + keen attention.
What will your married name be? Are you changing it to your partner's? Keeping your own? Blending them both? Using a hyphen? A space? Putting yours first? Creating an entirely new one? For some brides, the choice is easy. For others, it takes a bit of trying on the options and giving them serious consideration. Pay attention to whatever is influencing your thoughts and choices. Are you under the influence of family members who have a preference? Are you under the influence of your own ideas about being a woman and owning your name? Do you want to be called by your maiden name in business and your married name in your personal life? If so, why? When you've made your choice, gather your wedding party together (whoever is local) and tell them the story how you arrived at your choice and what you think that choice will bring to your married life? Then break out the champagne; you've just done a test run of this story-telling for your wedding ceremony!
Whatever your process, your choice and your reasons, share this story with your guests during your ceremony. Or let someone in your wedding party re-tell it. Letting all your guests in on how you made your choice provides an invitation for their support and respect for it. The more your family and friends understand about you, the more they can support your marriage in a way you will find helpful. A name is a very personal thing. Sharing the story about how you found your way to your chosen "married name," will add depth of personal meaning to your ceremony and your life.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Puppy is currently going by the name of Empress Dogini Scrumptious White-Puff-of-Heaven Pookie Kisa Violet Daisy Jane. Oh, so many choices...
