Instead of the usual wedding ring pillow, do something unusual for the presentation of your wedding rings. Here's one idea from "d sharp," an artist who handcrafts objects (in this case a jewelry holder) out of vintage sheet music and organza ribbon:
If you're not getting married in a religious venue, consider some less conventional seating arrangements to optimize the experience for everyone coming to see you get married. I always make a special visit to the wedding location with my clients to investigate how we might use the space to create an interesting ceremony environment. Seating in-the-round is always fun because it gives everyone a chance to really see you (vs. the sitting in the last pew of the church). And you can still have your walk down the aisle. Here's how it can work:
1. Set up the chairs in a circle, leaving a four-seat wide opening for an entrance and another space opposite the entrance where your wedding party will stand. They will be part of what creates the circle.
2. Instead of a walk down the aisle, the wedding party members enter the circle and walk around the inside perimeter (in front of the guests) until they arrive at their station opposite the entrance. Have half the members go clockwise and the others go counter-clockwise, alternating direction with each person that enters the circle.
3. The groom awaits his bride at the circle's entrance and together, they walk around the entire inside of the circle so they and their guests can see each other "up close and personal." When they have made their walk, they take their places on a low riser set up in the middle of the circle. Here, with their officiant, the ceremony takes place. You can even turn to stand in different directions throughout the ceremony, so that everyone gets a front, side and back view of your radiant beauty.
One more important element:
4. After the bride and groom take their place on the platform, the two people sitting on opposite sides of the entrance "close the circle" by holding the ends of a ribbon (provided to them in advance). This brings energy and attention into the center of the circle for the ceremony. When the ceremony ends, the bride and groom break open the circle by walking through the gently held ribbon. The wedding party exists by walking straight across the circle. The celebration begins. And the guests will have something interesting to talk about at the reception!
6 Tips for Helping Your Officiant Deliver the Ceremony of Your Dreams:
1. Spend lots of time with your officiant getting to know him or her. Several meetings in person are important. Have at least one meeting at the site of your ceremony so that you can practice feeling at home there, together.
2. In between in-person meetings, talk on the phone or exchange email about your wedding in general. By giving your officiant an overview of the style and plans for your wedding, he/she can better tailor the ceremony to fit with the overall tone of the day.
3. Right up front, tell your officiant everything you know you want from your ceremony -- and anything you know you definitely DON'T want.
4. Send your officiant a picture of your wedding dress, and let him/her know if you're groom is wearing a tux, a suit or another variation on the theme.
5. Ask any question on your mind about your ceremony, no matter how stupid or embarassing it may feel.
6. Ask to see an outline of the ceremony prior to your wedding day so that you will have a clear understanding of the ceremonial elements and how they all will fit together.
I got a call from a bride the other day who liked what she read on my website www.ceremonies.info She and her fiance are not religious and want help in creating a ceremony that is serious but different and personalized. She said she's really open to doing something unqiuely creative, but that her fiance is a little nervous that he might be asked to stand up in front of 100+ people and make a spectacle of himself. I hear this a lot from guys and the reason is clear: He simply doesn't know what "uniqely creative" means. The solution is to demystify it for him -- as soon as possible!
Here's one way to explain it...
Religious traditions prescribe a "form" for ceremony, so generally people know what to expect when they are going to a synagogue, church or mosque. Non-religious ceremonies are open to playing with the form, but should not be so far out of box that the ceremony lacks dignity and respect. Tell your fiance that the ceremony will absolutely look and feel like a wedding. The "unique" part will come from making it uniquely yours -- by using words and actions that truely reflect your values, your needs, and your interests as individuals and as a married couple -- as opposed to the prescribed values and needs of a particular religious tradition.
The "creative" part comes through matching the ceremony words and actions to your values and your particular personalities. When it's done really well, the officiant weaves all of this together with language that sounds just like YOU -- adding a little extra polish and poetic flow for the special day. So, nothing to fear; no spectacle needed in being "uniquely creative," but rather, an opportunity to have the ceremony done totally your way.
The Wedding Channel www.weddingchannel.com has an interesting article on "Creating an Heirloom." And an heirloom can be a great asset in creating a stylishly interesting wedding ceremony.
Are you wearing a piece of jewelry your grandmother gave you? A veil that belonged to your mother? Carrying a vintage handkerchief from your groom's family? Tell your officiant about the special item you are wearing or carrying down the aisle -- its history, design and meaning to you. Then, have her talk about it when you arrive at the altar.
Why? Consider your experience at a fashion show. It's one thing to simply look at the clothing making its way down the runway, but things really come alive when you hear a description of the designs. And things get even more exciting if you get backstage pass to meet the designer and hear what inspired the clothing and accessories.
You're putting so much attention into creating a fabulous look for your wedding day. Give yourself and your guests that backstage pass. Think how cool it will be for everyone to learn that your diamond tiara is made from the diamonds of a necklace your Great Grandma Jessie wore at her wedding. And that she got it from her Great Aunt who came to America by ship and through the gateway of Ellis Island. Your ceremony will be all the richer for making a special presentation of your heirloom and honoring the family tree in this way.
Tiara Photo courtesy of: Bel Air Bridal http://www.belaireveils.com/index.htm
What does your hairstyle have to do with your ceremony?
I was talking to a hair and make-up stylist in San Francisco today about her surprise that some brides really need a lot of direction about what kind of styling is appropriate for the setting of their wedding. For example, she told me about a bride who came to her for an up-do practice run, draped in gold jewelry and huge earrings. The stylist asked her where she was getting married, and the bride replied, "outside in beautiful little garden."
An outdoor garden wedding doesn't call for a dramatic up do and a bride overly draped in jewels. For a summer, garden setting, the overdone bride will clash with the serene beauty of the outdoors. The stylist suggested simple jewelry and a beautiful, hair-down do with flowing curls. This way, the bride and the environment accessorize each other, more naturally.
Likewise, the tone of the ceremony should fit the setting and the bride's style. A traditional, formal processional, for example, is great for a church or evening wedding in a ballroom. But out-of-doors weddings can opt for something more relaxed. Fun and festive music can carry the wedding party down the aisle instead of the usual Vivaldi "Four Seasons." The officiant's welcoming of the guests can include some humor and lightness befitting a more relaxed environment. The flowing curls of the bride's hairstyle and the romanticism of the garden setting can be matched with sweet, poetic language in the ceremony and vows.
So, what's your hairstyle got to do with the ceremony? Everything if you want continuity in the flow of your wedding day.
(For great hair and makeup in the San Francisco Bay area, ask for Diann at the Post Street location of Di Pietro Todd Salon: http://www.dipietrotodd.com/home.htm)
