Wedding trend reports indicate that $1200 cakes are not uncommon. This would indicate that brides are willing to pay the price for something extraordinary, artistic and deliciously memorable.
Oddly though, brides and grooms typically budget only $200-$500 for their ceremony. I know I have an incredible bias, but wouldn't you want a ceremony at least as creative as your cake?
Food for thought.
After posting the "Yogini Bride's Meditation," I received a request for a groom's meditation. So, here's a variation on the theme. The groom may ask the officiant or his best man to guide him through it. In a quiet place, before his wedding ceremony begins.
"The Yogi Groom’s Meditation," by Tracy Masington.
Begin by taking several slow, long, easy breaths. Breath in through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Once again. Slowly.
Now bring your attention into your body. Begin by noticing if there’s tension in your shoulders. Take a breath in. Pause. And as you breathe out, allow your shoulders to relax. Again: breathe in. And exhale, relaxing your shoulders.
Now move your attention down to your heart. Gently close your eyes, and notice the beating of your heart. Is it fast? Slow? Just feel this sensation for a moment. Just notice the beating of your heart. Take a slow breath in through your nose. And exhale through your mouth, slowly.
Bring your attention into your hands. Gently run your thumb back and forth over your finger tips a few times. Now allow your focus to move to the fourth finger on your left hand. This is where your wedding band will soon be placed by your radiant bride. Relax this particular finger. And now your whole hand. Relax both hands, allowing your arms and hands to just dangle by your side. Relax your shoulders. Relax your jaw. Breathe in. And exhale.
Finally, bring your attention to your feet. Feel them in your shoes. These are the feet about to walk you to your wedding ceremony. Feel your feet in your shoes, touching the ground. Stand tall, but gently, effortlessly. Imagine yourself almost floating while keeping your feet in place on the ground. Just be there. Slightly bend your knees. Stand s t i l l . Quiet. Breathe in through your mouth. Hold the breath for a second. Now, slowly, e x h a l e .
You have now come into presence. Be here. In this moment. And the next. And the next. Soak up every step, every note, every word, every movement of your wedding ceremony. When you catch your attention elsewhere, simply breathe in, exhale, and return your attention to the moment at hand. Enjoy. This is your WEDDING day. Don't miss it.
Have you ever taken a yoga class? If so, you've probably heard your teacher talk about "coming into presence." What she means is to bring your full attention right here, right now, into your body, so that you may get the most out of your experience.
This is sage advice for brides, albeit not always easy. The process of planning a wedding usually carries brides at lightning speed through a firestorm of activity and every imaginable emotion. For many, the pace just continues to build until the day of the wedding. Details, details, details. Wanting it all to be just
p e r f e c t.
So crazy-making this all can be! When the moment of the ceremony arrives, the fast beating of your heart can sound like the roar of an engine, overshadowing the music chosen to carry you down the aisle. The sight of 100 people watching you can distract from really being there for your ceremony. Instead, you are thinking, "Do they like my dress?" "Is my lipstick on right?" "Will I be able to say my vows?" "Is the video guy getting all this??????"
Here's a meditation exercise that can help you actually "be there" for your wedding ceremony. Ask your officiant or your maid of honor to lead you through it (by reading it slowly) before you make your walk down the aisle.
Let's call it "The Yogini Bride's Meditation."
Begin by taking several slow, long, easy breaths. When you're finished, take one more as you bring your attention into your body. Begin by noticing if your shoulders are trying to act as earrings. If so, tell them you've already picked out a nice pair for the wedding and they can relax. Relax your shoulders. Breathe.
Now move your attention slowly down to your heart. Notice the beat of your heart. Is it fast? Just feel this for a moment. Just notice the beating of your heart. Perhaps even close your eyes gently as you feel the beat of your heart. Notice if it's slowing down a little bit now? B r e a t h e . Long, slow breaths.
Now feel your hands holding your bouquet. Raise your bouquet up to your nose. Breathe in, slowly, and notice the fragrance of the flowers you chose just for your wedding. THIS is the moment to appreciate the beautiful choice you made. Feel a few of the petals on the flowers. Notice the soft, sweet sensation on your finger tips. Ever-so-gently, run the back of your hand across the tops of your flowers. Mmmmmm. Soft. Sweet. This is YOUR bridal bouquet. Wow!
Now notice the feel of the fourth finger on your left hand. This is where your wedding band will live. How does it feel right now? Free as a bird? Relax your finger. Relax your hand. Relax both hands as they gently hold the bouquet. Relax your shoulders. Relax your jaw. Breathe.
Finally, bring your attention to your feet. Feel them in the shoes you have chosen just for today -- your wedding day. Now feel your feet in your shoes touching the ground. Stand tall, but gently, effortlessly. Imagine yourself almost floating while keeping your feet in place on the ground. Just be there. Slightly bend your knees. Stand s t i l l . Quiet. B r e a t h e. Long, slow, gentle breaths.
Now, you have come into presence. Be here. In this moment. And the next. And the next. Soak up every step, every note, every word, every movement of your wedding ceremony. When you catch your attention elsewhere, simply breathe in, breathe out and return your attention to the moment at hand. Enjoy. This is YOUR wedding day. Don't miss it.
"found photo" credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/decarts/
Do you have access to photos of the women brides in your family? Take a photo of yourself in your wedding dress prior to your wedding day. Then make a print collage of all the photos. ID each picture. Include this in your wedding ceremony program. And at the beginning of the ceremony light a candle for each of the women to honor your lineage.
How do you define God? Make sure that you discuss this with your officiant so that any mention of God in your ceremony is a true reflection of your spiritual sensibilities. If you can't find the words, perhaps you can find a picture....
photo credit: This photo is public. Uploaded on Mar 8, 2006
Valentine's Day is a great excuse to do some wedding ceremony preparation. Make a list of the "Top Ten Things I Love About My Partner." Write it down. Wrap it up. Deliver it with a kiss. And then give it to your wedding officiant to include in your ceremony!
"Day of" jitters can get to the ceremony attendants as well as the bride and groom. As an officiant who arrives extra early on the wedding day, I am regularly met by bridesmaids and groomsmen who ask: "Now when do I walk down the aisle again and where do I stand?"
It's not unusual for attendants to forget. Yes, even your best friend and your sister may forget! No fault of their own. It's very natural for excitement and nervousness to override the instructions provided at the rehearsal just the night before.
Solution: Write out the line-up for walking down the aisle and diagram your attendants' standing positions when they arrive at the wedding ceremony space.
Anything will work -- crayon, pencil, pen or something a lot more professional looking. Write a list of your attendants' names in the order of their departure for the walk down the aisle. Also sketch out a picture showing them where to stand in reference to the officiant. (Notice, I said "in reference to the officiant" not the bride and groom, since the bride and groom won't yet be in their ceremony positions when the attendants arrive. The attendants will arrive before the bride and groom.) Then, tack up your list and diagram in the women's and men's dressing rooms on your wedding day. Your attendants can be reminded of their positions without having to stress you out just before the start of your ceremony.
