Fresh Bride

RING IN THE NEW YEAR!

Attention all New Year's Day Brides!

Consider skipping music for your bridal walk down the aisle.  Instead, have your bridesmaids greet your guests upon their arrival and hand each of them a wedding bell.  When it's time for your entrance, have your officiant instruct the guests to ring their bells "to call in the bride."  Walk down the aisle to the sound of the bells and enjoy the resonating excitement all around you. 

When you get to the ceremony site, take the arm of your groom and pause while the bells continue to ring.  In silence, make a new year's resolution or prayer for your marriage.  When you are finished, ring a bell of your own.  The officiant can then signal for all bells to stop as you take your places to become married.

Now that's a way to ring in the new year!

Dearly Beloved...

Many couples tell me that celebrating their guests is as important to them as celebrating their love.  Make this known.  At the beginning of your ceremony, tell your guests exactly why you've invited them to attend your wedding.  What is it about having guests that is meaningful to you?  Why these particular people?  What do they contribute to your life?  What do you feel they will contribute to your marriage?

By sharing your thoughts with them, you invite them more deeply into your ceremony.  They will feel special.  And encouraged to support you as you endeavor into marriage.

The Artist in You

The painting above is the cover shot of Artkrush's Issue 29.  The artist is Beatriz Mailhaze and you can read the full write-up of her bio at London's Tate Museum site. 

Meanwhile, read the biographical introduction below and let it inspire you and your mate to do an exercise in being each other's publicist.  Take 15 minutes to interview your partner about his/her "art" -- Ask your partner these questions: What are your special talents in life, in our partnership? Where do you suppose this talent comes from? How did you get to be good at it?  What inspires you?  Then take 15-30 minutes, to write your partner's bio.  Use lots of adjectives.  Ask a writer friend or hire writer to polish it up for you if writing isn't your strong suit.

When you're done, you'll have learned something new about your partner and even more to love about him or her.  The act of speaking about your special talents will shore them up as you step into your marriage.  Having your partner be your witness and biographer cultivates in him or her a good listener who can reflect back to you the best of what you have to offer.  Finally, you'll also have great material to share with your officiant so she can get to know you. 

For your ceremony, you can have your officiant or friends in your wedding party read these bios or "introductions" you've written as a way of opening your ceremony.  Example:  "In the eyes of the groom, here's an introduction to his beautiful bride..."  "In her own words, the bride has chosen to marry this groom who..." 

To get started on this exercise, pretend you are writing your partner's bio for presentation in an art gallery, like Beatriz' below...

Beatriz Milhazes’s paintings are seductive. They are like a rare Amazonian plant – at once both ravishing and deceptive, full of layers, unexpected tricks and treats. Born in Rio de Janeiro in 1961, Milhazes has over the past two decades built up a rich and complex repertoire of images, forms and colours in her work. While she shows an adventurous fusion of influences, her canvases have an undeniably Brazilian flavour – filled with brightly coloured elements relating to a string of popular Brazilian motifs, from carnival-inspired imagery to tropical flora and fauna...

Wedding Bells and the Bridal March.

Instead of playing music for the bride's walk down the aisle, consider having the ushers hand out a little wedding bell to each guest upon arrival. Or, hand out a variety of bells with differing shapes and sounds.  Then, after the wedding party has made its entrance, the officiant will ask everyone to rise and ring their wedding bell to "call in the bride."  Can you imagine walking down to these magical bells and seeing all your guests ringing them just for you?!

Now this will give real meaning to the phrase "wedding bells."

Tossing Confetti.

I met a bride whose home was decorated in bright Mediterranean hues of yellow, red and blue.  She said it reflected her love of life and her playful spirit.  She and her fiance loved to have friends over to share a bottle of champagne and just, well, celebrate life.  She had lost her father many years ago, and her mother just the year before.  She now had a mission to celebrate her life as often as she could remember to.

So we created a celebratory introduction to her ceremony.  When she descended a staircase that led to the ceremony site, I asked her to pause so her guests and groom could take in her radiance while she caught her breath.  Her best friend then came forward to sprinkle bright and sparkly CONFETTI all along the path to the altar.  As a result, the bride was escorted down the aisle by the playful spirit of celebration she deeply valued. 

Cell Phone Rumble.

Have you ever been to a wedding and someone's cell phone started ringing in the middle of the ceremony?  Egaads!

Make sure that doesn't happen at YOUR wedding.  Print up a sweet little note asking your guests to "kindly remember to turn off your cell phone" and place one on each guest chair.  Add a little piece of candy to sweeten the request and give your guests something to quiet their tummy too.  Then walk down the aisle to the music you have chosen for your wedding march, and not the Cell Phone-Tummy Rumble.

Honoring A Deceased Relative.

Sadly, many brides and grooms have lost a parent prior to their wedding day.  Their presence, however, can be brought into your ceremony by honoring their memory with a simple, personalized ritual such as adding a flower to the bridal bouquet.

Here are instructions for the ritual honoring the deceased mother-of-the-bride.  It may be adapted, of course, to honor any family member(s).

Have your florist provide you with a special flower that can be easily slipped into your bouquet.  After your arrival at the altar and before anything else happens, a previously designated relative brings your groom this special flower.  He then slides it into the center of your bouquet, and the officiant says:  On this day, we honor the memory of the bride's beloved mother by adding a specially chosen flower to the bride's bouquet. 

Sweet.  Simple.  Joyful.  Pretty. 

Gratitude for my mani-pedi.

It never ceases to amaze me where ideas can show up.  While I was getting a mani-pedi today, sitting in one of those over-sized massage chairs with the swirling foot bath and a fabulous color of pink being painted on my nails, I was thinking about how lucky I was to be sitting there.  I wondered how many women in the world don't have the luxury of such treatment, and have never even heard of a "mani-pedi."  I was feeling very grateful for my life.  And then this idea came.

Wouldn't it be interesting to watch a ceremony that opened with the  bride and groom each taking a turn to say something about the gratitude they are feeling. These "Gratitude Offerings" would be the very first words spoken in the ceremony. Just a sentence or two (written on a pretty little card to read from) would ease you into your ceremony with a heart-opening tone and an opportunity for a little playfulness to set everyone at ease.

Here's an example of what I imagined:

Bride:  I am so grateful to be here today and for all the things that brought me here:  my parents, the good fortune of meeting my perfect mate, and the friends who have supported me through all my planning angst.  Today, I am also particularly grateful for my wedding dress, the fact that my groom let me pick out his suit, the food we will eat, and the joy to be shared. 

Groom:  I too feel grateful today -- for the chance to be a worthy partner to someone who is so good to me, for the fact that she didn't make me wear a tuxedo, for my basketball buddies, our dog Xenon, and for all of you, for coming to share our wedding day with us.

"Gratitude Offerings."  Whatcha think?