Fresh Bride

How To Write A Hit Love Letter.

A lot of couples choose to write each other love letters that they read as part of their ceremony, or that they read as their vows.  While the choice to do this may come easy, the idea of actually writing these letters can be a challenge.  Here's one approach:

Pop Star James Blunt's slow-burn, super-hit ballad, You're Beautiful, grew out of a diary entry.  What's in your diary?  There are probably clues to or stories about the deepest truths of your love.  Pick one journal entry to retell.  Or pick out a few sentences or even phrases you've recorded that describe the time you first fell in love and then the time you knew you wanted to become married.

How beautiful that will be.

Nesting.

Having one of "those" days planning your wedding?  Take a breather and browse through Amy Ruppel's art sale:  http://www.amyruppel.com/artsale/index.htm

Her sweet little birds will help you sink back into your chair and go ahhhhhhhh as you feel your heart smile. 

Here's one for nesting together:

Yogi Groom's Meditation.

After posting the "Yogini Bride's Meditation," I received a request for a groom's meditation.  So, here's a variation on the theme.  The groom may ask the officiant or his best man to guide him through it.  In a quiet place, before his wedding ceremony begins.

"The Yogi Groom’s Meditation," by Tracy Masington.

Begin by taking several slow, long, easy breaths. Breath in through your nose.  Exhale through your mouth.  Once again.  Slowly.

Now bring your attention into your body. Begin by noticing if there’s tension in your shoulders.  Take a breath in.  Pause.  And as you breathe out, allow your shoulders to relax.  Again: breathe in.  And exhale, relaxing your shoulders.

Now move your attention down to your heart. Gently close your eyes, and notice the beating of your heart. Is it fast?  Slow?  Just feel this sensation for a moment. Just notice the beating of your heart. Take a slow breath in through your nose.  And exhale through your mouth, slowly.

Bring your attention into your hands.  Gently run your thumb back and forth over your finger tips a few times.  Now allow your focus to move to the fourth finger on your left hand. This is where your wedding band will soon be placed by your radiant bride.  Relax this particular finger.  And now your whole hand.  Relax both hands, allowing your arms and hands to just dangle by your side. Relax your shoulders. Relax your jaw. Breathe in.  And exhale.

Finally, bring your attention to your feet. Feel them in your shoes.  These are the feet about to walk you to your wedding ceremony.  Feel your feet in your shoes, touching the ground. Stand tall, but gently, effortlessly.  Imagine yourself almost floating while keeping your feet in place on the ground.  Just be there.  Slightly bend your knees. Stand s t i l l .  Quiet.  Breathe in through your mouth.  Hold the breath for a second.  Now, slowly, e x h a l e .

You have now come into presence. Be here. In this moment.  And the next.  And the next. Soak up every step, every note, every word, every movement of your wedding ceremony. When you catch your attention elsewhere, simply breathe in, exhale, and return your attention to the moment at hand. Enjoy. This is your WEDDING day. Don't miss it.

Yogini Bridal Meditation.

Have you ever taken a yoga class?  If so, you've probably heard your teacher talk about "coming into presence."  What she means is to bring your full attention right here, right now, into your body, so that you may get the most out of your experience. 

This is sage advice for brides, albeit not always easy.  The process of planning a wedding usually carries brides at lightning speed through a firestorm of activity and every imaginable emotion.  For many, the pace just continues to build until the day of the wedding.  Details, details, details.  Wanting it all to be just

p e r f e c t. 

So crazy-making this all can be! When the moment of the ceremony arrives, the fast beating of your heart can sound like the roar of an engine, overshadowing the music chosen to carry you down the aisle.  The sight of 100 people watching you can distract  from really being there for your ceremony.  Instead, you are thinking, "Do they like my dress?"  "Is my lipstick on right?" "Will I be able to say my vows?" "Is the video guy getting all this??????"

Here's a meditation exercise that can help you actually "be there" for your wedding ceremony.  Ask your officiant or your maid of honor to lead you through it (by reading it slowly) before you make your walk down the aisle. 

Let's call it "The Yogini Bride's Meditation."

Begin by taking several slow, long, easy breaths.  When you're finished, take one more as you bring your attention into your body.  Begin by noticing if your shoulders are trying to act as earrings.  If so, tell them you've already picked out a nice pair for the wedding and they can relax.  Relax your shoulders.  Breathe.

Now move your attention slowly down to your heart.  Notice the beat of your heart.  Is it fast?  Just feel this for a moment.  Just notice the beating of your heart.  Perhaps even close your eyes gently as you feel the beat of your heart.  Notice if it's slowing down a little bit now?  B r e a t h e .  Long, slow breaths.

Now feel your hands holding your bouquet.  Raise your bouquet up to your nose.  Breathe in, slowly, and notice the fragrance of the flowers you chose just for your wedding.  THIS is the moment to appreciate the beautiful choice you made.  Feel a few of the petals on the flowers.  Notice the soft, sweet sensation on your finger tips.  Ever-so-gently, run the back of your hand across the tops of your flowers.  Mmmmmm.  Soft.  Sweet.  This is YOUR bridal bouquet.  Wow!

Now notice the feel of the fourth finger on your left hand.  This is where your wedding band will live.  How does it feel right now? Free as a bird?  Relax your finger.  Relax your hand.  Relax both hands as they gently hold the bouquet.  Relax your shoulders.  Relax your jaw.  Breathe.

Finally, bring your attention to your feet.  Feel them in the shoes you have chosen just for today -- your wedding day.  Now feel your feet in your shoes touching the ground.  Stand tall, but gently, effortlessly.  Imagine yourself almost floating while keeping your feet in place on the ground.  Just be there.  Slightly bend your knees. Stand s t i l l .  Quiet.  B r e a t h e.  Long, slow, gentle breaths.

Now, you have come into presence.  Be here.  In this moment.  And the next.  And the next.  Soak up every step, every note, every word, every movement of your wedding ceremony.   When you catch your attention elsewhere, simply breathe in, breathe out and return your attention to the moment at hand.  Enjoy.  This is YOUR wedding day.  Don't miss it. 

A Crafter's Bridal Shower

Invite some friends over to "bless your wedding" by coming over for a decoupage project.

Give out new and old magazines, sheet music, books and pictures, and scissors.  Have them cut out their "wishes for your marriage."  Decoupage them onto a mailbox for your new house.  Serve the cake, talk about your wedding plans, and by the end of the shower, the mailbox will be complete. 

As a "thank you" gift, give your girlfiends a subscription to YOUR favorite magazine. Now every time you go to your mailbox, along with your bills, you can bring in all the good will of people who love you. (You'll also get to meet your new neighbors when they come over to ask you to tell them about the one-of-a-kind mailbox on your front lawn.)  And each month, when your favorite magazine arrives in your friends' mailboxes, they will be reminded that you love them. 

(If you're not moving into a new home that calls for a mailbox, it can also be affixed to a stand to create a unique piece of art in your new home.)

The Artist in You

The painting above is the cover shot of Artkrush's Issue 29.  The artist is Beatriz Mailhaze and you can read the full write-up of her bio at London's Tate Museum site. 

Meanwhile, read the biographical introduction below and let it inspire you and your mate to do an exercise in being each other's publicist.  Take 15 minutes to interview your partner about his/her "art" -- Ask your partner these questions: What are your special talents in life, in our partnership? Where do you suppose this talent comes from? How did you get to be good at it?  What inspires you?  Then take 15-30 minutes, to write your partner's bio.  Use lots of adjectives.  Ask a writer friend or hire writer to polish it up for you if writing isn't your strong suit.

When you're done, you'll have learned something new about your partner and even more to love about him or her.  The act of speaking about your special talents will shore them up as you step into your marriage.  Having your partner be your witness and biographer cultivates in him or her a good listener who can reflect back to you the best of what you have to offer.  Finally, you'll also have great material to share with your officiant so she can get to know you. 

For your ceremony, you can have your officiant or friends in your wedding party read these bios or "introductions" you've written as a way of opening your ceremony.  Example:  "In the eyes of the groom, here's an introduction to his beautiful bride..."  "In her own words, the bride has chosen to marry this groom who..." 

To get started on this exercise, pretend you are writing your partner's bio for presentation in an art gallery, like Beatriz' below...

Beatriz Milhazes’s paintings are seductive. They are like a rare Amazonian plant – at once both ravishing and deceptive, full of layers, unexpected tricks and treats. Born in Rio de Janeiro in 1961, Milhazes has over the past two decades built up a rich and complex repertoire of images, forms and colours in her work. While she shows an adventurous fusion of influences, her canvases have an undeniably Brazilian flavour – filled with brightly coloured elements relating to a string of popular Brazilian motifs, from carnival-inspired imagery to tropical flora and fauna...