Perfection.

Let's talk about this obsession with perfection. The perfect bride. The perfect groom. The perfect gown. The perfect cake. The perfect day! "Perfection" wins the prize for "Most Overused Word" in the wedding industry.

If it's true that the wedding day sets the stage for your life together, then you'd better throw perfection to the wind. Here's the formula, it's simple: 1. Do your homework. 2. Plan as best you can. 3. Then just be!

If you've given yourself some good lead time, enjoy yourself. Get the magazines. Talk to friends. Dream your dreams. Try on the dresses. Pick your best friends and annoint them bridesmaids and groomsmen. (Or better yet don't...but that's a subject for another day.) Meet different officiants to get a sense of who performs what kinds of ceremonies. Gather your ideas and create a concept.

Once you've honed in on your vision for your day, do the leg work of planning. This is the part where you put a deposit on your location. Visit the caterer and pick your menu. Talk to the florist and pick your flowers. Choose the dress or outfit you'll wear and begin alterations. Select your music. Lock in your officiant. Order and mail out the invites. Make your final checklist of all the things you still need to do. And then do those things.

Then just be. As in, let go of the details and let the day unfold. Some of the best moments happen because they weren't planned. One such unplanned event happened at my friends Linda and John's wedding. At the end of the walk down the aisle, the bride had some steps to ascend to meet her groom. She started up the steps -- and fell flat on her face. There was nothing pretty about it. She wasn't hurt, but this was no staged prat fall. Flat out. All fours splayed. On her face. At the party afterward, no one said a word about it. Not because they didn't want to cause her embarrassment, but because the grace with which she got up and the grin with which she said "oh well" let everyone know that she would handle the inevitable imperfections of her marriage -- and her life -- with an equally graceful, undaunted spirit. That was inspiring. And being inspired is one of the best things that can happen at a wedding. It makes a wedding, well, just perfect!